Lady In The Lake (1947, directed by Robert Montgomery)

So the continuation of my rankings of the greatest Philip Marlowe screen performance, led me to Lady In The Lake. And oh snap! Talk about screwing the pooch. Robert Montgomery, you are just absolutely fucking terrible. As a director and as an actor. And especially as Philip Marlowe. Really, what Montgomery's or studio head asshole's brain-child was to have you the viewer play Philip Marlowe, so the whole piece of shit was filmed in third person with an occasional mirror shot to remind us that we are Robert Montgomery as Philip Marlowe. So we get to reach for every door knob and smoke cigarettes and speak in annoying ass Robert Montgomery voice. And we are super annoying as Philip Marlowe through this idiot-fuck. I'd much rather be Swayze going through Whoopie. I didn't even make it through half an hour of watching this. But I have to say hat's off to you, Mr. Montgomery, you are by far and away the very worst Philip Marlowe of all time. You even beat out Robert Mitchum, which is an insane feat!