Kansas City Royals

My favorite baseball team, The Royals, have been shutout two days in a row. Where do I throw the blame?

The recently disabled Mike Aviles, who's only been hitting .183 this season?

or

Luke Hochevar's ERA with runners in scoring position, which happens to be a mesmerizing, 43.88?

or

Joakim Soria's bum shoulder or Alex Gordan's fucked up hip?

or

Kyle Farnsworth not bodyslaming, but "pitching?"

or

Mike Jacob's goatee?

No, friends, I blame Royals General Manager Dayton Moore's pants. What the fuck is up with his pants? Big and baggy, pleats, left side has wrinkles, right side does not. How the fuck are you supposed to general manage a baseball team while wearing such fucked pants. So Dayton if you're pants don't figure themselves out in the next couple of weeks they'll be held responsible for our team missing the playoffs for the 24th year in a row.

You, DM's pants, are now officially on the hot seat.