COMIN' RIGHT BACK (like a heart attack)

Hey y'all. It's been a while since there's been anything up on this blog. Shit got weird. Or actually shit stopped being weird. I dunno. Something happened. But I think that I just wasn't feeling like blogging for a bit and now I do. 

Let's get started. I stopped blogging in June. I was in the process of moving and I no longer had any connection to the internet. I was also in a bad mood about 90% of the time and didn't want to blog about how I hated everything. And also I didn't see the point of telling my friends a bunch of bullshit. Like:

I got married. 

I am addicted to crystal meth.

I stopped wearing deodorant. 

I have fleas.

Lies. All lies. Sorry.

Ok, so at one point in my life I had fleas. Brandon Brown and I had an apartment at Clayton and Hayes. And if you've ever spent extended amounts of time with Brandon and/or I around 2001-2003, then you probably lived there. At some point in life, somehow, it was just Brandon and I living there. So Brandon immediately bailed to spend the summer in Chicago. He set me up with a subletting hippie from Santa Cruz, Amanda. Amanda immediately had her cokehead friend move in as well. I had recently bought a mattress off of craigslist and was no longer sleeping in a cot. Yes, I slept in a cot for about 6 months. I told people that I had tuberculous. One night, I, somehow, convinced a girl to sleep with me. And in the five minutes of passionate love making, we broke the cot. So then I slept on the floor. Then I got the bed. Then Brandon left. Then Amanda and her cokeheaded home girl moved in. Then we got fleas. I assumed, probably because of a guilt complex that I have, it was because of the matress. So I put it out on the street, with a note: 

"Probably flea infested"

It was gone within half an hour. What's up San Francisco?

Then I told the girls to leave town for the weekend. They did. They probably went to some breathing exercise clinic up around Sasha Mountain or met some sailors and got coked up on some elderly man's house boat. I dunno. So I bombed the house and stayed at my then girlfriend's house. 

I still remember not being able to sleep that night. Totally anxious that I either:

A.) poisoned all of my neighbors to death, 

or 

B.) burned down the apartment building. 

I didn't do either. And the bomb worked. And we no longer had fleas.

Then Amanda and her coke head homie left. Brandon came back and we had the place to ourselves. Brandon started taking inventory of his room, that Amanda and her coke head homie had been in, and Brandon found millions upon millions of dead fleas upon his bookshelf. The same place where Amanda and her coke head homie had all their plants. So I figure that it was from there plants that the fleas came from. So it maybe wasn't my shady mattress after all. 

So then Brandon and I then bought a French press and had the best cup of coffee of our lives. Then we bought a bar. A personal bar for our living room. Then Matthew Arnone moved in, then John Griener moved in. And then Logan Ryan Smith was there. Then John Sakkis was there. It was good times. There was hecka pizza and Miller High Life. 

I don't know why I told that story. Hope you liked it.

So what's up with me now.

I am now the proud roommate of John Sakkis. We live in the lower Haight. We drink hecka Miller High Life. We eat hecka tuna salad. We listen to Boz Scaggs and just cool out.

I have a special lady friend. She's an absolute gem. A sensation. She's like the north star. She makes me all giggly.

Yeah, I said giggly. But fuck you. I ain't soft. I'll still cut you. I'm like DMX: I'm not a nice person.

I'm still rocking that art house movie bullshit. Just watched Woman In The Dunes. Fuck Yeah, y'all. I wanna write a review of that soon. In fact, I have plans to start up a website film journal sort of thing. I hope to do it before 2010. If any of you wanna write movie reviews, send'em my way and let's rock that shit. 

And lastly, I've been writing a book about time travel. I have had a few missteps, but it seems to have finally taken it's shape. It's also about stand up comedy, impoverished slave children of Haiti, larceny, kidnapping, cock fighting, Germans fleeing to South America, and easy ways to land a job in housekeeping. It'll be ready in couple of years.