Unsatisified Customer Inspires Formation of R&B Group And Other Stories

Sometimes people buy things. All kinds of people. All kinds of things. Some of these people buy things that they at one time thought that would like. But for one reason or another, they found that they don't like it. So they bring it back to the store that they bought it from in order to get their money back. This is called a return. And when they come to do their return at my store, they usually have to speak to me.

Sometimes the people who would like to return things feel the need to explain the exact reasons why they are returning an item. Now, if you readers are ever in position where you must return something, let me tell you that the person that is handling your return does not care why you are returning this. Well, most of the time they don't care. They might care if they themselves actually made the actual product. They might also care if they have power issues. Now, I'll admit that I have some power issues. But these issues have never manifested themselves into caring why you're mad that all three of the avocados that you bought were "sorta brownish".

Every return that I do, I have to fill out a little piece of paper and on that piece of paper I have to list a reason as to why the item was returned. So I figured that if they're going to all of this trouble of explaining why they must return it, I would just quote them on the reason slip. Here's a list of some reasons that I received today:

"sorta brownish avocados"
"hurt my teeth"
"mom wouldn't eat it"
"cod smelled fishy"
"burned her tongue"
"nasty aftertaste"


Nasty Aftertaste. This phrase kind of moved me. And it kind of inspired me. But then I thought that just the word "Aftertaste" had more weight, was kinda secretive, kinda sexier. Was it a nice aftertaste? Or was it a nasty aftertaste? You be the judge. Yes, Aftertaste was a powerful name. And it would become the name of my new R&B group.

I then enlisted three of my coworkers to see if they would be interested in starting an R&B group called Aftertaste. And they were. Of course. And we immediately found our roles for the group. Here's what's up:

Colton would be the soulful cute one that all the girls would want to have tender moments with.

Calvin would be the overtly sexual one that wants to get real freaky.

Bradley would be the artistic one, the studio mastermind and control freak.

And I would be the one that would have a drug problem, who also has an on again off again relationship with Whitney Houston.

We'll probably have choreography.

We came up with three songs through the course of our eight hour shift, which only lasted about six hours cause I was asked if I wanted to go home early because I wasn't doing any work. "Let Me Suck The Cheetos Dust From Your Fingers", "Let Me Be Your Babysitter" and "Don't Be A Bum In Bed". I imagine we'll probably rename "Let Me Suck The Cheetos Dust From Your Fingers" to just "Cheetos Dust". Or maybe it should be "Let Me Suck (The Cheetos Dust From Your Fingers)". Which ever. Doesn't really matter. I'm just really excited about Aftertaste. And I'm really excited to be the one that gets to have the drug problem. Get your itunes store ready.